10 Mantras for Successful Mothering

Ten Keys to Successful Parenting 1 - Use Genuine Encounter Moments (GEMS) With our busy lives, we are often thinking about the next thing that we have to do, instead of putting 100% focused attention on what our child is saying to us. We often pretend to listen or ignore our child's attempts to communicate with us. Listen to her self knit story even if she says it for the n-th time 2 - Use Action, Not Words Statistics say that we give our children over 2000 compliance requests a day! No wonder our children become "parent deaf!" Instead of nagging or yelling. Action speaks louder than words. Brush your teeth twice if u want her to do so 3 - Give Children Appropriate Ways to Feel Powerful If you don't, they will find inappropriate ways to feel their power. Often we do the job for them because we can do it with less hassle, but the result is they feel unimportant. A 2 yr old can wash veggies, plastic plates etc.. 4 - Use Natural Consequences Ask yourself what would happen if I didn't interfere in this situation? If we interfere when we don't need to, we rob children of the chance to learn from the consequences of their actions. Never mind if she tries hard to set her puzzle only in a wrong way 5 - Use Logical Consequences Often the consequences are too far in the future to practically use a natural consequence. When that is the case, logical consequences are effective. A consequence for the child must be logically related to the behavior in order for it to work. If she forgets to return library book even after reminders....U may do it but deduct fines from her allowances 6 - Withdraw from Conflict If your child is testing you through a temper tantrum, or being angry or speaking disrespectfully to you, it is best if you leave the room or tell the child you will be in the next room if he wants to "Try again." Do not leave in anger or defeat 7 - Seperate the Deed from the Doer Never tell a child that she is bad. That tears at her self-esteem. Help your child recognize that it isn't that you don't like her, but it is her behavior that you are unwilling to tolerate. She must know she is loved unconditionally no matter what she does 8 - Be Kind and Firm at the Same Time Balance between your kindness and firm attitude. '5 more minutes' is never going to end...So just pick her up firmly from playground, no nagging. 9 - Parent with the End in Mind Most of us parent with the mindset to get the situation under control as soon as possible. If we parent in a way that keeps in mind how we want our child to be as an adult, we will be more thoughtful in the way we parent. If we spank, she will use acts of aggression to get what she wants in adulthood 10 - Be Consistent, Follow Through Your child will learn to respect you more if you mean what you say. No means 'no'. Do not give up to her pleas, tears or demands