Resist the Super-mom myth

Are you a modern mummy who is a pro in multi-tasking? Yes. Today’s mummies can mix up a bowl of cake mix with one hand while sticking a plaster on a toddler’s knee with the other, breastfeed a baby and attend phone calls. Mummies juggle juggle juggle various works endlessly. But finally, everything seems to be incomplete or half-done. We strive to be the ideal Super-mom.

Today’s mothers are overwhelmed by the demands of modern life. As Marg Stark writes, “Mums adore their kids but sometimes hate being a Mother”.

A paradox, isn’t it? Why is it so? Because we can’t meet the exhaustive standards required of “a good mother”, according to today’s definition. We are conflicted about the yearnings of our hearts and guilty about having mixed feelings when we love our children.

Mums are really frustrated with all sorts of modern expectations.

We are responsible for how our kids turn out to be. Yet, we are also limited in the discipline we can use. In other words,” Society doesn’t trust me to spank my kid responsibly, but I’m the one society blames if my kid gets out of line.”

Haven’t you felt the same thoughts revolving in your head several times? Any way, Parenting is much harder today than when we were small. We parent by referring to a child care book, rather 10 child care books each contradicting one another. At some point, we turn out to be intensive mothers.

Intensive Mothering is demanding, child-centered, expert-guided, labor-intensive and expensive. Media keeps bombarding us with messages about must-have products to achieve perfect parenting. We become victims and go on a buying spree. Media try to make the most out of our motherly love. We buy educational toys, CDs and all baby stuffs just becoming a prey to the Commercialization of Parental love. We throw gala-like birthday parties for our kids and teach them to overdo and overspend rather than appreciate simpler and less fabricated delights.

Why not try to put a Full-Stop to all these? Instead, parent the private way. Slay the beast of expectations. Stop believing that experts have methods that will work for you. Relearn to be you. Kids love the real “You”.

So just resist the urge to become Super-mom and be what you are.

“Teach your kids not the little virtues but the great ones.
Teach your kids not thrift but generosity and an indifference to money.
Teach your kids not caution but courage and contempt for danger.
Teach your kids not shrewdness but frankness and a love of truth.
Teach your kids not tact but love for one’s neighbor and self-denial.
Teach your kids not a desire for success but a desire to be and to know.”

“A child’s love is unconditional. There is nothing on this earth that compares with the feeling that you are the balm a little person carries with her through an entire day in the big, scary world that exists apart from you.”

Yes, I am not a Super-mom, So what?

(Reference and quoted from ‘What No One Tells the Mom’ by Marg Stark)